take a moment to think, or even breathe.

some days are tough, some days get to me. all i try to do is sit think and breathe. not always done as easy as said. but lately being lost in my own thoughts has been the best thing for me. i want to strive for positivity, for happiness. i look around myself and see pain, joy, happiness, and the amazing world around me. i now take notice to the trees, to the way the birds sing. beyond my belief theres so much beauty in the world yet someimes we get lost in only choosing to see the dark side of it all. if im going to have this life, im going to try to live it. not the way most other teenagers consider living, drinking drugs partying. ive been there, tried that. why choose a temporary solution that brings more bad? i choose to soak up the worlds beauty, it helps...

if you really knew me.

today i was channel surfing and came across a show called "if you really knew me" on mtv. i know most mtv shows are like trash tv but this one honestly spoke to me. it pretty much helping bring different cliques in high school to come together, to throw aside judgements, to really to get to know a person. i myself am in high school and could honestly say nobody really knows me. i get along with many people and make friends easy but my appearence at school isn't always me. i've been a cheerleader done the dance team and been in band, ive been the happy high school girl on the outside. so i've decided to get things out. IF YOU REALLY KNEW ME...

-you would know i have been diagnosed with major deppression

-you would know the terrible ugly scars on my thighs are from self injures behavior

-you would know my dad and i fought everyday til i left

-you would know i've been two a mental health facility twice now because of suicide

-you would i feel as though nobody will ever want to love me

-you would know i always think of others before myself

-you would know im trying to change and be a better person

-you would know i feel trapped because of my emotions

im new to this.

so this is my first blog, im actually a tad bit excited. thanks to my lovely cousin jacque im trying this all out. it might actually be a great stress relief for myself. i'd love to make my blog deep real and fun of course. well today i was just thinking about a recent new found happiness ive had with my antidepressants. well i thought my dreams fears and hopes. i decided i'd start out my blog with dreams(:




i have an unobtainable dream to fly and feel the clouds.




to study photography and take pictures of the real world we choose to ignore.



to join the peace core and make difference.


to fall madly and deeply in love.



to live in a beautiful mysterious home.



to someday have my own home library filled, spiral staircase and all.



to have a child to love and make my world.


these are just a few of my many dreams that keep striving throughout life to make it all reality.